A lull before the storm

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I have come to the conclusion that I’m a terrible face reader. See, I was very happy and excited about being back in Buenos Aires, and trying to work on some business ideas. Little did I know before this morning, that what I stupidly took to be life smiling at me, was actually life bearing its teeth. Right now I feel like a storm was unleashed on me, and I was not prepared at all for it.

I’m not in a religious quest, I don’t look up to “Heaven” (or whatever you might call it) for comfort; and I’m not suicidal. But I am desperately trying to hold on to the joy and beauty that I always thought life was made of. That’s what reminded me of a particular scene from “Hannah and her sisters”.

I’m trying to get to the point where I can sit back and enjoy myself again.

6 responses »

  1. Honey, I know exactly what you’re going through. Try to clear your mind and be positive, everything is going to be alright. ¿Is the situation a giant load of crap? Yes it is, but life is full of that kind of things. The important thing is that you have a lot of people that cares for you and won’t let you go deep down the rabbit hole without being there at the end to make your landing a bit softer.

    I really care for you, and it breaks my heart to know you are feeling like this. I love you just like I would love a little sister, and I promise you that I’m waiting right here to make things easier and softer for you. I know that’s not a big consolation prize right now, but it’s absolutely everything I can give you in this moment. You can always count on me, girl.

    Everything will be fine. You can bet on that.

    • My dear Fians, I know everything will be fine, and that as always, this too shall pass. Yet I find myself getting more and more cynical, and as much as that would normally worry me, I’m actually taking the whole process with indifference. Maybe it’s the abruptness of it all that has left me out of balance; or perhaps it’s that this has been a particularly moving year so far and my Grandma’s illness broke the fragile emotional equilibrium I had managed to build… I don’t really have an answer.
      I know that you care for me, and you’ve proved time and time again that I can count on you. Thank you for the encouragement!

    • I will take a look into the Earth Charter, Stony. Thank you for always providing me with interesting and exciting material.

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